Biggest Insecurity CHALLENGE!: Face Off

Honestly, I’m scared to death about this post.

Yesterday, I decided to check out Beautylish when I came across Andrea’s latest blog post about her starting a challenge:

Hey! I am starting a Challenge for anyone wishing to participate in it with me :]

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I want YOU to create either a video response on YouTube, Leave a comment on my FB page, Take a picture and post it on my FB wall, etc. Whatever you want and let me know you did the challenge! I want to see everyone’s posts. I congratulate anyone willing to do this, because it’s a big step to come out with something embarassing about yourself that you don’t like to talk about. Also, a big thing when it has to do with your appearance.

Please participate, it’s extremely liberating, I assure you!

If you wanted to check out her post, it’s here!

And it was actually going to tie in with what I wanted to talk about today. You see, I want to be involved in the Gyaru community. I want to talk about the fashion and everything but the key thing about the Gyaru community is that: it’s about appearances.

Even if some Gyarus are unable to afford the MARS or Liz Lisa brand name socks, they still have the ability to say, “Fuck that, I’m going to make this work!” And they do. I want to be able to do the same thing and connect with others but something was in my way.

My biggest insecurity. Truth to be told, I’m a bit insecure about my body but not as bad as it was before. I’ve learned to love my body the way it is and that it’s my temple. I’m going to treat it right and get to the shape I want.

But it’s not my body that disappoints me in my eyes. Instead, it’s my face.

I just… have no words. (Old picture)

It isn’t the skin on my face or my hair that bothers me. It’s my eyes. It’s my nose. It’s my lips. It’s my shape. I’m always afraid that I’m going to mess up the makeup and my whole look will be ruined. Or because of my nose, it’s going to ruin my look. Or because of my full lips, I can’t wear the cool lipsticks others can, or rather, I feel odd with it on. I hate how my chin is. I hate it. Or that I just don’t look “right”. I feel like there’s something on my face that isn’t visible but I just want it off and because of that, my confidence went down a lot.

Honestly, what you’re reading is about 20+ years of pure emotion and raw feelings I had growing up. I never felt confident about my face. I was never comfortable with it. I always felt that my face always got me into trouble just because of what’s on it. I’ve thought and considered plastic surgery but only on my nose.

People had always told me how they envied my lips but really that’s about it. I always felt that I was too plain and that any attempts at makeup would seem like I’m “trying too hard”.

The most recent picture I have (as of this post).

But if I want to defeat this monster, “insecurity”, then I have to post pictures of my face. I realize that mistakes will be made and this is all part of the learning process. I have to not be scared of showing my face on the Internet. I have to be brave.

So there you have it. That’s the biggest insecurity I have. I’m sure you guys will probably think I’m crazy for thinking such a thing but alas, it is what it is.

Now tell me, what is your biggest insecurity?

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6 Responses to Biggest Insecurity CHALLENGE!: Face Off

  1. Andrea says:

    Wow, great post. I’m so glad you decided to participate and post this. You look beautiful by the way! This is just the first step to self love and overcoming that insecurity. Takes a lot of “cojones” haha but I admire you for coming out with this 😀

  2. Pingback: What To Do? What To Do? « { rainbow chiffon }

  3. Pingback: My everyday make-up – (RE-BLOG)- OF CUPCAKESAKURA FASHION, AFFORDABLE, GYARU, FRIENDSHIP. « Netflowers – HOME

  4. Ally says:

    I just happen to come across your blog and I was in disbelief when you said you feel insecure about your face. Girl, you are so beautiful, don’t ever think or say that you aren’t.

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