Every Gal Has A Secret… Really Now?

Created lovingly by the members of the Gyaru Secrets LJ Community.

The point of communities like Gyaru Secrets is to post image graphics with “secrets” on them. Usually, they’re opinions and thoughts that are not popular within the gyaru community. This would include bashing, praising, or just spreading gossip without your name attached. More or less, there are interesting secrets and there are those that are just intended to start drama.

Recently, there’s been a backlash of this. There’s a Tumblr called Anti Gyaru Secrets (pretty straight forward, I think). From what I can gather from both communities: there’s one half of people who’s tired of the drama of the Gyaru Secrets and then there’s those who just love it. I had a friend who would read Gyaru Secrets every weekend because she thought a lot of these secrets were hilarious. My friend Tiffany, who’s more into Fairy-kei more than anything (but still her own type of Gyaru), regards it with indifference. She cares but at the same time, doesn’t. It’s a little hard to express how she feels about it.

For me personally, I don’t find it that great. A lot of the secrets are extremely catty and some don’t feel sincere at all when they do praise them. Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m looking for when it comes to that community. Great gossip? Epic drama about one group of Gyarus against another? Perhaps I’ll get some comments saying how Gyaru Secrets isn’t for someone like me who doesn’t appreciate true humor or something to that effect – and you may be right. I’m not denying that I don’t find petty drama and sharing disgusting secrets about certain Gyarus amusing.

But then, I’m not confident in my looks either. In fact, now is probably not the best time for me to be posting outfits, possible coordinationed outfits among other things. Why? Because I’m not at the ideal weight I am. One of these days, I do plan to start a diet (maybe Weight Watchers?) because I am not satisfied with my body. Maybe I’ll start a weight log here to record my process or maybe on my personal LJ.

So seeing some of the stuff on Gyaru Secrets really puts me from actually posting pictures of myself period. I get that maybe people may not like some of the outfits out there – and that’s fine. However, the Anti Gyaru Secrets Tumblr aren’t much better.

It reads: “wish i could be anorexic…so i can be as skinny as she is… because then the gyaru community will accept me. I usually get posted in gyaru secrets for being TOO FAT or NOT gyaru enough. Remember, ladies – women have curves. Women have flaws. You are not too fat for gyaru.”

So you’re going to combat body shaming with body shaming? Wow, okay. Look, I know that every body shape is beautiful – that I’m not denying. There’s a few things that needs to be cleared: not all women have the same body shape. This is something I recently accepted about myself – I am a curvy woman. When I was at my ideal weight, I felt and looked great. However, because of poor diet and lack of exercise (as well as a very lazy spirit), I lost that. I’ve never been overweight before because I always naturally skinny but to whip myself back into shape, I have to yearn for it. I have to want it.

And both Gyaru Secrets and Anti Gyaru Secrets are not helping me. In fact, they seem to want people to feel ashamed for either being their natural weight or having some extra weight and yet want to get rid of it because of health or other feelings.

The Anti Gyaru Secrets blog also has a pledge:

  • I promise that I will not join the ranks of gyaru secret bullies.
  • I will not tease others, especially when I know it will hurt their feelings.
  • I will not mock others because of their physical appearance.
  • I will not humiliate others because of their financial background.
  • I will not ostracize others because of their personal style.
  • I will not post something on gyaru secrets that will make a person the object of ridicule.

INSTEAD,

  • I will respect my peers’ opinions and choices.
  • I will remind myself that I am not superior to anyone.
  • I will be brave enough to defend those being bullied.
  • I will be aware that making fun of others may actually cause them pain.
  • I will resist the tendency to say something unkind.
  • I will only criticize to build up, not tear down.
  • I will reach out to those being left out.
  • I know that I have to treat others as my equals. Thus, I make these promises today to stand up against bullies on gyaru secrets and to stand up for their victims.

Here’s the original blog post on Tumblr if you wanted to reblog it yourself. Honestly, I’m happy that certain pledge is starting to go around but now – it really feels like it’s empty words. From the other posts of the Anti Gyaru Secrets blog, they seem to have secrets about how Gyaru Secrets ruined someone’s life.

I won’t make an opinion on that. It’s not my place to, especially, dismiss someone’s experience with bullying, especially cyber bullying. I shouldn’t be skeptical of these people who admit that Gyaru Secrets get them down. I know if someone made a secret about me – I’d be paranoid. Is it one of my friends? Or any of my so-called “enemies” I have made throughout my time on the Internet?

I think the Gyaru community needs to come together and decide how to handle things from Gyaru Secrets. I know there are those who are always going to be catty and trying to start drama but there may be those who really do have a legitimate unpopular opinion about someone. What’s the best way to handle it? Should we shut out Gyaru Secrets and expose those who do? Or should just keep doing our thing?

And where do you lie on this issue? Should we just sit back and “deal with it” or should we just avoid Gyaru Secrets altogether? Could we meet a happy medium?

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5 Responses to Every Gal Has A Secret… Really Now?

  1. Oda says:

    G_s has evolved from secrets about the style and embarrassing things you’ve done while dressed as gal, into secrets about the people wearing the fashion (successful or not).

    It won’t change until the people change. The best way to deal with g_s in it’s current state is to see it as bullshit. There might be some truth to some secrets, but for the most part they are created by people who need to grow up and learn to give constructive critisism.

  2. I’ve always loved gyaru & lolita styles, and have thought about getting into them a few times. But, it’s kind of communities like this that put me off from it. I’m no expert in this, but I think if GS was to be exposed and shut down, another one just like it would pop up in it’s place because it wouldn’t be changing people’s perspectives about it the issue.

    • moonrabbit says:

      Yep, same here. And I agree – another one will just pop up and it’ll probably be nastier than before because people get upset rather easily about things like that. I think especially in a community like gyaru…

  3. Pingback: Asmaria « Hey Klacenklai

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